Bests and Worsts

      With just three and a half weeks left until my plane flies out of Newport News to Detroit, I feel that I'm at a point where I can offer an honest overview of my internship. I can finally adequately address the simple question, "So, how is your internship going?"
      I'll start with the best part. This internship has been encouraging and affirming beyond anything I expected. I majored in community development as kind of a last-ditch effort, convinced that God was calling me in some way to assist the church in helping the poor, but my failed attempts in the past had left me equally certain that I was not the person for the job. My first economics class at Covenant scared me so much that I came very close to ditching the whole thing again. I was an unofficial English major for half of sophomore year.
      This internship has repeatedly affirmed not only that I am called to church based community development and that this is what I want to give my life to, but that I am actually equipped to do it. I am doing some good research. Working at the church just feels right. And the things I've learned in the classroom over the past three years are connecting, making me realize what a fantastic foundation I have to enter this field. Equally importantly, Westminster has showed me that church based community development can be done well, when I was beginning to doubt that it was possible. I am so blessed to be here at this time to get to watch how these brothers and sisters wrestle and succeed.
      The worst part has been loneliness. Hands down. I did not expect to struggle so much with feeling homesick and isolated. At times it has been crippling. This is the first time I've ever been somewhere where I didn't know a soul before arriving, and it can be difficult to connect with people in a real way when they know and you know that you're only temporary in their lives. This is just one of the ways I am finding that God is showing me my weaknesses in much louder terms than usual, and as hard as that can be, I am thankful for it when I stop and consider. As he provides for me daily he is showing me yet again that he is my strength. He is also forcing me to learn to deal with myself on a deeper level than I have ever had to before. Honestly, I'd rather know now what some of my biggest issues are going to be as a CDV practitioner than be shocked by them further down the road. Plus, I've done some creative things to manage my loneliness that I might have missed out on otherwise, like driving by myself to an art festival in Richmond on Friday night, attending a two-and-a-half hour long service at a black Baptist church downtown with Sister, asking an older lady at church if I could spend some time with her and getting invited to a tea room for lunch, and getting the youth intern to teach me how to drive a stick shift.
      The short answer to "How is your internship going?" is this: I am uplifted and I am lonely. God is giving me exactly what I need!